Rings of Interest in Today’s Ring World
Did you know that another name for the Pope is the Fisherman? Well, not exactly. You can’t go around slapping the Pope on the back and saying, “Hey, Fisherman, how ‘bout we go catch some thousand-pound tuna?” The Pope is usually too old for such things, and his hip hurts most of the time, bad for casting and being yanked by thousand-pound fish.
So the Pope isn’t exactly a fisherman, but he does wear the fisherman’s ring. This is a type of signet ring that is worn by every pope that is used to seal official church documents such as, “Whoever believes the sun is the center of the solar system is hereby excommunicated,” or other such religious wisdom straight from the mouth of the infallible one himself.
Fisherman’s rings are cast of gold and made new for each Pope, and have the Pope’s Latin name engraved in each of the successive rings. After the Pope dies, they destroy the fisherman’s rings so they can’t be used to forge Latin documents that would God forbid deny a geocentric universe. E pur si muove! How’s that for some Latin?
How’s for some other interesting rings? Here are two rings, both of which inhibit finger movement a bit much. One of the rings is the multi-finger ring, that—you guessed it—is placed on more than one finger. I guess these rings are basically like brass knuckles without that squeezy thingee in the inside that makes your fist real hard. The problem is, when wearing multi-finger rings, you can’t exactly move your fingers around too much. But you look really cool with these types of rings, which is the very important.
The other of the impractical but cool rings are finger armor rings, which are worn over the length of an entire finger, which limits movement a bit. To help alleviate this, which would impact sales of these rings, finger armor rings are equipped with a joint that allows you to bend at least one knuckle. The practical application of finger armor rings is that when you point at someone, they usually think you’re about to cast a spell at them and they do what you want.
Two more: Eclarian rings are worn by gay men for some reason. They have a spinning inner part, like a unicycle. That’s all I have to say about that. Purity rings are rings worn by women who want everyone to know something special about them. You guess what it is. I’ll give you a hint. It doesn’t have to do with hair color.
